if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
Randomize
