I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
Randomize
