Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
