No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
Randomize
