How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Randomize
