I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
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