Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
Randomize
