so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
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