also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
Randomize
