He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
Randomize
