I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
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