My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
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