You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
