The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
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