i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Randomize
