Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
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