I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
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