My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
Randomize
