Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
