seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
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