Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
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