It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
Randomize
