Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
