If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
