yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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