Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
Randomize
