she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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