It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
Randomize
