This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Randomize
