So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
Couch. On fire.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Randomize
