Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
