Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
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