Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
splinters make it hard to masturbate
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Randomize
