Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
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