Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
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