Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Randomize
