just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
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