In America we eat man semen.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
