My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
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