yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
he shaved USA in his pubs
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
