I don't usually arrange sex via text message
Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
Randomize
