I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
