I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
My pussy is not your playground.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
