This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
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