chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
Randomize
