So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
Randomize
