Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Randomize
