I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
Randomize
