thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
Two ladies just showed up with my fucking purse. It was in the fucking street. I'm a train wreck. As a financial advisor, this shouldn't happen. I should be an adult.
I have bruises all over my body. Seriously, I'm a train wreck. I'm too damn old for hangovers like this.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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