good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
I need to stop coming to work sober
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
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