dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
Randomize
