please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
Randomize
