He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
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