I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
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